There I was in the transport;
I hit my head with a BONK!
And I was thinking to myself,
'Why does that power droid always say "Gonk"?'
Then they opened the hatchway and they showed me the way
There were two guys buying me out there,
I thought I heard one say. . .

Welcome to the Moisture Farm de Owen.
Such a boring place, wish I was in space
Plenty of room at the Moisture Farm de Owen
Any time of year, it's hot as hell out here

Luke's mind's Academy-twisted, he's got the Anchorhead trends
He's got a lot of pretty, pretty droids, that he calls friends
Have condenser in the courtyard, constantly sweat.
Luke wants to remember, Owen tries to forget

So I called up my master,
'He ran off this time'
He said, 'The chances of finding Artoo are one in sixty-nine'
And still those Tuskens are raiding from far away,
Killing Jawas in the middle of the night
Just the Stormtroopers say. . .

Welcome to the Moisture Farm de Owen
Such a destroyed place, such a destroyed face
There's smoke rising up from the Moisture Farm de Owen
What a bad surprise, look into his eyes

Luke came back from the homestead,
He really looked pretty glum.
And Ben said 'You'd've been killed just as well, Luke
Nothing you could have done'
And in the Mos Eisley Cantina
I got kicked out from the feast
That's when we met up with Han Solo
And a big, hairy oaf of a beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Hiding behind a door
I had to find a passage back
To Docking Bay 94
'Blip blip,' said the spy man,
They were programmed to receive.
They started shooting at our smuggler's ship,
and we could barely leave.

(c)2000 Mark Knoke. (...even though I wrote it a couple years ago, but I don't think you can backdate this sort of thing.)